we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
