im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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