I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
