Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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