: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Randomize
