I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
