i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
