new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize