this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
