I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Someone shattered a urinal.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
