just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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