She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
