I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
tell me about the fingering
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
