Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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