By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
