and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im holly from the hills drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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