people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
