The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
