i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He did a backflip because drugs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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