we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
