the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
