If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
