if i can run in heels then i can drive
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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