i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
