Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
