Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
love makes seman taste better
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
