I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
