Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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