walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
