yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
