I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
