I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
