i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
