I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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