the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Less talking, more tequila
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
