so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
