I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
