You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
