I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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