I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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