im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
