Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
