Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
