im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
