fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
