WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
