I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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