Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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