You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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