the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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