So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
